Saturday, August 7, 2010

Is the Fertility God Playing with Me?

It's Day 38 and I still don't have my period, so I have been pondering over these 3 possibilities:

1. My body has been through a lot and it's taking its good old time. Prior to my operation last year, I had my period every 28 days, I was regular as regular could get, but post op and after lots of hormone treatment, it would be every 30-31 days. For the record, the longest has been 35 days and I have never missed a period in my menstrual life (except for the 6 month hormone treatment).

2. At 36 years old, am I starting menopause? I have heard of women who start menopause early in life and I remember a long time ago, my mom said that someone in the family started menopause at 38. This thought really freaks me out, so I hope this possibility is a definite negative.

3. Could I possibly be pregnant? How could this be, I've been trying for almost 4 years! Is the Fertility God finally smiling on me?

When I mentioned this to my husband he encouraged me to buy a home pregnancy test. For the record, I have never bought a home preggers test, because it only brings up too much hope and most likely to be followed by disappointment. But this is Day 38 and I don't feel any period symptoms. Is my body playing scattergories and it's very confused or is it playing bingo and it achieved the winning combination so that I can jump up and yell BINGO!

Well, I caved in and bought the test this afternoon. After dinner, I was looking at it quite intensely, not sure if I should take it or not. I read the notice carefully, so that I wouldn't make any mistakes and it said that it can take up to 3 minutes for the results.
-1 line on the C means I'm not pregnant
-1 line on the T + 1 line on the C means I'm pregnant.
Well, I went for it and 10 seconds didn't even pass and there was a very thick visible line on the C. Man, I felt like this test just slapped me in the face. How rude, it could have at least waited 1 or 2 minutes before giving me the bad news. I did wait for the full 3 minutes to see if I would get that second line, but it never came. I'm not too down about it, as I knew that this possibility was very unlikely. One thing is for sure, this is the first and last time that I buy a home pregnancy test. So much drama for nothing.

By the way, when I bought the home pregnancy test, I also bought a lottery ticket. Let's hope my lottery ticket brings me more luck.


womb for improvement said...

I quite often buy a lottery ticket with a pregnancy test - something to cushion the blow. Sorry it didn't work out.

Lu said...

I hate when periods psyche you out like that. So sorry that it wasn't good news.

Hoping your Sept IVF is successful. I will be following along.